


i'm only honest when it rains

by clarissawrites



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex is here briefly, And a bit of fluff, F/F, Season 5 deviation, Somewhat, a bit of angst, and a bit of angsty fluff, mostly canon through crisis i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:15:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24262666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clarissawrites/pseuds/clarissawrites
Summary: Kara and Lena find themselves stranded in the woods. It gives them a little time to figure some things out. Rating mostly for language.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 16
Kudos: 477





	i'm only honest when it rains

**Author's Note:**

> Started midway through season 5. Finished before 5x18. Some continuity through 5x17, mostly canon through crisis. Title from Sleeping at Last's "Neptune".

Lena wakes with a groan.

There’s something hard sticking into her hip and her head is throbbing with pain. Blinking to try and clear some of the fog, she discovers that she’s flat on her back in what appears to be the middle of the woods. Grayish light peaks through the tall trees that surround her and she squints up at it, trying to remember how she got here. At least it’s not super bright and sunny, though, so that’s something.

“Good, you’re awake,” says a voice to her left, and Lena turns her head to see Kara sitting against a tree.

Lena groans again, but this time it’s from frustration instead of pain. Of course she’d be here with the last person in the galaxy she wants to talk to right now. Her former best friend, the only person who ever truly broke her heart, the woman she’s in love with.

“What happened?” She manages to grumble out, slowly pushing herself into a sitting position with the fleeting thought that she probably has a concussion. Her head spins a little.

“You were kidnapped,” Kara responds, in a tone that indicates it’s, somehow, Lena’s fault.

Lena rubs the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes for a moment. “Wonderful. Why are you here?”

“I was rescuing you.”

“Well get to it, then,” she bites out smartly, and is met with silence.

Turning her head toward Kara again, Lena is met with a regretful look. “I can’t,” comes the apology, and Kara gestures toward her leg.

For a moment, the dots don’t connect. Lena stares at Kara’s leg where a crude bandage is tied around her thigh. Blood is seeping through, and Lena’s hurting brain takes a minute to catch up.

“How are you bleeding? You can’t get hurt.”

Kara sighs. “I can if I lose my powers.”

Lena blinks. “You lost your powers?”

“Yeah.” Kara winces, shifting her weight. “It’s called solar flaring. Well, that’s what Clark calls it anyway. Believe me, I’d be flying us out of here right now if I could.”

“Oh.” Lena frowns. Her head is pounding and this still doesn’t totally make sense. “How long does it last?”

Kara shrugs. “Depends. Sometimes hours, sometimes days. I pretty much blew them out completely this time, so probably longer. Unfortunately.”

“How do you get them back?” Ever the scientist, Lena starts running theories in her mind. _A swift kick to the chest_ is the first thing she comes up with. Ok, so she might still be pretty mad at Kara.

Kara’s fiddling with a long stick in her hands as she answers. “That also depends. Sometimes I have to jump start them with adrenaline, sometimes I just spend a bit under the sun lamps and they come back on their own. Usually a full blow-out requires the adrenaline thing though, or a _lot_ more time.”

“Oh,” Lena says again, rubbing at the back of her neck with a wince. _How about punching her in the face?_ her helpful brain supplies. She frowns.

“You ok?” Kara asks softly, and it shouldn’t make Lena’s heart clench the way it does. She pushes that aside, her response clipped and clinical.

“Fine. Might have a concussion.”

Kara lets out a humorless laugh. “They did hit you over the head pretty hard.”

Lena hums noncommittally. They sit in silence for a moment. The wind rustles in the trees and Kara fiddles with her stick, as if waiting for Lena to take the lead.

“So. Adrenaline. Like, exercise? Or fear?” Lena finally asks.

Kara takes a breath. “Fear, I guess? One time James was helping some people get to safety in the Cat-Co elevator shaft and the cable he was holding broke.”

“So let’s just find a cliff for me to jump off of.” Something she’d almost rather do anyway than sit here and pretend everything is fine.

“I’d rather not risk it.”

There’s a furrow between Kara’s brow that looks so thoroughly _Supergirl_ and Lena sighs. “Fine. So what’s your plan then?”

Kara plants her stick on the ground and uses it to help herself stand up. She wobbles a little as she does, the pain evident in every muscle of her body. “We start walking.”

“Walking?” Lena gapes at her.

Kara shoots her a look. “Yes. Unless you’re too injured to walk?”

Lena shakes her head and stands slowly, using a nearby tree to help. “Wouldn’t it be better to stay in one location? Easier for Alex or whoever to find us?”

“Normally, yes.” Kara takes a halting step forward. “But I know these woods—I think anyway. We’re close to Midvale. Not close enough to walk, but close enough that I flew here a few times as a kid. We came camping up here once or twice, and there are some old hunting cabins around.”

The wind rustles the tops of the trees roughly and Lena shivers, picking up on Kara’s meaning. “So: shelter. And maybe someone who can help us?”

“Well, it’s not really hunting season so I doubt anyone’s there, but yeah: shelter. It looks like it might rain, and if we’re here all night, I’d feel safer if we could find some place to hole up.”

“That’s smart,” Lena agrees, begrudgingly. “As long as you’re sure you can find one before nightfall. We’re both pretty beat up.” She can feel herself starting to go into business mode, distancing herself from her emotions to get the job done.

Kara levels her with a look. “I can. Now, are you coming?”

She takes a few halting steps forward, wobbling even with her makeshift crutch, but before they’ve even made it twenty feet, it becomes clear that the glorified walking stick isn’t going to be enough. Despite the pounding in Lena’s head that’s sapping her strength and the nausea the keeps rolling in her stomach (yup, definitely a concussion), she knows the only way either of them will get anywhere is if she helps Kara.

With a little reluctance, Kara swings an arm over Lena’s shoulders, and together they make their way through the woods, stopping every once in a while for Kara to get her bearings and make sure they’re headed in the right direction. It’s a little awkward, being this close after not so much as speaking for months, but the searching and walking gives them both something to do.

If it wasn’t necessary for them to point out uneven ground to each other or let the other know when they need to stop for a break, they’d be walking in near silence, and that would maybe be worse. Still, Lena’s mad that she’s comforted by the warmth of Kara’s body, the familiar scent of her, the gentle lilt to her voice as she asks if Lena’s still ok every once in a while.

By the time it’s almost dark, the last hints of light disappearing behind the trees and surrounding landscape, Lena’s nearly lost all faith of finding shelter. Not that she had much to begin with. She’s opening her mouth to suggest they just hunker down and hope for the best when Kara lets out a little shout and points with the hand holding the stick.

“I see one! Over there!”

Lena squints through the trees, seeing what might be a wooden structure a ways off. It doesn’t look like much, from what she can tell, but it’s something. Even if it’s a shack, it’s better than getting caught out in the rain at night. She keeps Kara from going too quickly in her excitement, and they make their way toward the building.

There are no lights in the windows, no smoke coming from the chimney, but luckily it’s just light enough out for them to avoid tripping over the wood piles and other various debris in the small clearing around the cabin. It’s bigger than Lena’d first thought, and she’d feel relieved if she weren’t so tired.

Kara makes them check the windows first since she can’t bust down the door, even though Lena knows how to pick a lock. They do find an unlocked window, and with a little finagling, manage to get it open so Lena can crawl inside. Her ears are still ringing and she’s starting to get very tired, but at least the nausea has passed a little bit. She hurries to the door and unlocks it so Kara can come inside, only hesitating a little bit. If Kara’s leg weren’t injured, Lena might have made her stay out on the porch, but even she knows that Kara’s wound needs redressing, if possible.

Once they’re both inside, the awkwardness increases. There’s nothing to talk about, no: “watch your step there,” or: “go down this slope sideways, it will be easier on your leg.” Just two women at odds, staring at each other across the room.

Lena finds a chair and sits in it, her head pounding.

“We should try to start a fire, if we can,” Kara suggests, looking to the fireplace as she leans heavily on her stick. Luckily, there’s some wood in a little box nearby and some fire starter and matches on the mantle piece.

“Do you know how?” Lena asks, and Kara grimaces.

“Not really. I usually just use my heat vision. Jeremiah tried to teach me when we went camping because I wasn’t using my powers then, but Alex took to it better. Do you?”

“Luthor’s aren’t really into things like outdoors and camping.”

“Right.” Kara takes a halting step toward the fireplace. “I’ll see if I can remember how.”

She pulls a few pieces of wood from the box and tosses them over to the fireplace. Hobbling over, she carefully lowers herself to the floor with a wince and arranges them carefully. Once she’s done building her pile, she looks around, realizing at the same time Lena does that the rest of the supplies are on the mantlepiece.

“Hey, Lena, could you…” she starts without thinking, her face falling as soon as she turns back. “Sorry. I’ll just…”

She grabs her walking stick and tries to push herself up, but Lena’s not that cruel. She waves a hand at Kara to stay where she is and stands slowly, walking over and pulling the matches and tinder box down from the mantle. She holds it out to Kara without a word, ignoring the brush of their fingers as she hands it over.

“Thanks,” Kara says softly, and turns back.

Lena doesn’t move back to her chair, just in case.

It takes them three tries, but finally, with Lena’s help, the fire starts.

“Well,” Kara says. “I guess now we wait.”

“Yeah.” Lena says.

Kara makes no move to get off the floor. Lena stares at her for a moment, gnawing at her lip.

“Does your leg hurt?”

Meeting her eyes, Kara almost smiles. “Yeah, a bit. I tore the sleeves off my shirt to make a bandage, but I think it’s bleeding through.”

It is absolutely bleeding through. Kara’s crude bandage is ruined, and Lena winces at the amount of blood. She’s surprised that Kara’s made it so well this far, especially without her normal levels of enhanced energy.

“Maybe there’s a first aid kit around here somewhere,” she says.

“Yeah, ok.” Kara starts to try and stand again. “I can look around for something…”

“No, stay there,” Lena says firmly, and Kara’s eyes fly to her in surprise. “I’ll look.”

The fire is blazing more fully when Lena finds a first aid kit tucked into one of the cupboards in the kitchenette side of the room. She’s also found some blankets, a few candles, and some cans of food. She brings it all back to where Kara’s leaning against the box of firewood and kneels down beside her, taking a look at the wound.

Kara’s wrapped the strips of fabric around the outside of her pant leg and tied them tightly. There’s a lot of blood on the fabric, but it doesn’t look much worse than a few minutes ago.

“It’s probably easiest to just cut it off,” Lena says, holding up a small pair of scissors from the first aid kit.

Kara nods and lets out a soft laugh. “That’s fine.”

Lena’s hands hoover over the wound. “I might have to cut off your pants too.”

Kara closes her eyes in anticipation of the foreboding pain. “They’re probably ruined anyway.”

Lena nods, even though Kara’s not looking. She cuts the makeshift bandage off as carefully as she can, then cuts down the front of Kara’s pant leg, starting where the wound is and ending at the hem.

It’s not as bad as she feared, but it’s pretty bad. Without the pressure of the bandage, it begins to bleed a little again, and Kara winces every time it’s jostled.

“Sorry,” Lena says, accidentally knocking into her foot as her scissors reach the hem of Kara’s pants.

“It’s ok,” Kara says through gritted teeth. “I’m just not very used to pain.”

Lena can’t help the scoff that she lets out. She cuts the pants underneath Kara’s thigh and sets aside the scissors, pushing the attached fabric a little higher on her leg to give her better room to work. “Well, this next part is going to sting a little, so get ready.”

Using some wipes from the kit, she cleans up around the wound. Kara hisses a few times, but gallantly doesn’t flinch.

“This is deep enough for stitches, but butterfly bandages will have to do,” Lena says when she’s done cleaning the gash.

Kara nods. “I won’t need them once I get my powers back anyway.”

“Right,” Lena mutters, busying herself with pulling out the bandages and some gauze.

“Lena…” Kara starts, but Lena levels her with a look.

“Not yet.”

Kara nods, and lets Lena finish putting on the bandage strips, pressing some gauze overtop, and wrapping it with more gauze and tape. She occasionally gives Kara instructions, like “hold that there,” or “lift your knee a little,” but they’re otherwise silent until Lena is done.

Finally, she sits back on her heels and looks at her former best friend, asking the first question that comes to mind: “What’s your real name?”

Kara frowns. “Kara?”

Lena smirks. “No, your birth name. The one your parents gave you. Not Kara Danvers, not Supergirl. What’s your real name?”

“It’s still Kara,” she says. “Kara Zor-El.”

“How old were you when you came to earth?”

“Thirteen.”

Lena frowns at this a little. “You were 13 years older than Superman was when he arrived, but got here 24 years after him?”

“I was stuck in the phantom zone for all those years,” Kara says, and there is a darkness, a distance in her eyes. “I was supposed to be with him when he arrived, to help him and protect him, but I spent 24 ageless years alone in a pod, not knowing if I’d make it.”

“Oh.” Lena has no response to that.

“Yeah,” Kara responds, shifting slightly. “Uh, thanks for…” she gestures at her leg.

Lena nods. The motion sends a wave of dizziness and nausea through her. She sits back roughly, closing her eyes and breathing deep to try and gain some balance.

“Lena?” Kara reaches a hand for her. “You ok?”

“Yeah. Just…probable concussion, remember?” She opens her eyes and tries to smile, but it’s more of a grimace.

“Oh. Right. Uh, anything I can do?”

“No, well, um, I guess you can try to check if my eyes are dilated? It might be hard since the lighting in here is so low…”

Kara’s already leaning closer, looking into her eyes. “I can’t tell for sure, since it is pretty dim in here, but I don’t think so? Not more than they should be, anyway.”

Lena nods. “Ok.” She’s suddenly very, very exhausted. “That’s good, I think. I haven’t thrown up and feel like I’m being pretty coherent, so from what I remember it’s ok if I fall asleep.”

She’s aware that she’s distancing herself from any other problems on hand by diagnosing.

Kara nods. “Maybe… maybe we should eat something?” She lifts one of the cans of beans. “I don’t know how long we’re going to be here, and we’ve both had a rough day. A little food before bed sounds smart.”

Lena nods. Luckily, the can is the pull-tab kind. Kara uses one of the fire pokers to nudge the can close to the fire for a few minutes, managing to turn it a few times without spilling. Using an old towel from the kitchen so she doesn’t get burned, Lena pulls it out when it’s been in there for a few minutes. She’s found one set of silverware too, so she takes a spoon and Kara takes a fork and they alternate bites until the can is gone.

“We should ration the rest, just in case.”

Kara nods. They’re both still hungry, but exhaustion is starting to set in, and the beans will carry them through for a while, at least.

Standing, Lena brushes her hands off on her pants and holds out a hand. There’s a bed in the corner, cot-like and not quite full sized. Kara shakes her head.

“I’ll stay here. Sleep in the chair. You take the bed.”

“Kara, you’re injured.”

“Yeah, and I’ll probably just get it bloody anyway. Besides, you’re the one with the potential concussion.”

Lena crouches and inspects Kara’s wound. “If you don’t jostle it and lie on your back with your leg propped up, you’ll be ok. Come on, we’ll both sleep better in a bed.

Seeing that Lena’s not going to let it go, Kara nods. She feeds the fire and lets Lena help her up and across the room. Lena rolls one of the blankets to prop her leg up on so she’s comfortable, checks the bandage to make sure she’s not bleeding through, and pulls the covers up over the both of them.

It’s quiet for a very long time, save for the crackling of the fire and the pattering of the rain that has started outside. Lena’s sure Kara’s already asleep when she whispers: “good night, Kara.”

“Good night,” Kara whispers back.

When Kara wakes, she’s warm.

It’s not an altogether uncommon experience, but she shouldn’t be this warm without her powers in a cabin in the middle of the woods on a chilly morning. The fire has long since gone out, and Kara can feel a draft coming from somewhere.

She shifts slightly, wincing, and realizes why she’s so cozy. Lena’s curled around her, head on her shoulder, arm over her waist, both legs tangled with Kara’s good one.

Kara’s heart begins to pound. She doesn’t want to move and scare Lena away, but she also doesn’t want the other woman to be embarrassed when she wakes. She shifts again, trying not to move her injured leg, hoping Lena wakes up soon.

Luckily she does. Lena wakes slowly, adorably. She nuzzles into Kara a little, snuggling closer until consciousness claims her and she jolts upward, scrambling to the edge of the bed.

“Sorry,” she whispers.

Kara rubs at her eyes. “’It’s ok.” Her voice is scratchy from sleep.

Lena takes a breath and relaxes a bit. “We should probably check your leg.”

Kara nods and sits slowly. “How’s your head?”

“It’s ok,” Lena hums.

She helps Kara to the chair by the fireplace and checks on the wound, re-taping the bandages back on once they’ve determined it’s doing about as good as can be expected.

Lena opens a can of potatoes that they share, and Kara tries to restart the fire with eventual success. It continues to rain, the noise against the roof almost the only sound in the small cabin.

Then, there’s nothing to do but wait.

Kara dozes on the bed for a while. She’s tired and in pain, but if she doesn’t move, it’s only a low throbbing. Lena sits on the chair and stares at the fire, not speaking to her. Kara can only hope that Alex finds them soon, or they might both die from boredom or go insane.

They share a cold can of chicken noodle soup several hours later, but Lena still doesn’t say much and Kara doesn’t pry. The rain lets up a little for a bit, and Lena stands out on the porch until it starts up again. Kara wishes there were some books or even old newspapers around for something to do. There’s nothing.

By mid-afternoon, Kara can tell that Lena’s getting restless. She herself isn’t doing much better, but Lena has the advantage of being able to pace the cabin, even though she’s clearly tired and uncomfortable from her concussion.

“Lena,” Kara finally says. “Come sit, please. You need to rest.”

“I’m fine.” Lena continues her pacing, rubbing hard at her temple.

“You’ll heal faster if you rest,” Kara tries to reason with her. She’s dozed some and feels ok, but she can tell that Lena is hurting by the way she winces every now and again, by how she rubs at her temple or her neck. “Come lie down.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you,” Lena mutters under her breath. Kara ignores her, knowing how uncomfortable she is from how they woke this morning.

“You don’t have to sleep, just come rest.”

“I’m _fine._ ”

Kara sighs. “Look, I’m sorry we’re in this position, but Alex will find us soon, and you can go home. But you’ll feel better in the long run if…”

“Don’t tell me how I will or won’t feel, Kara,” Lena interrupts, whirling on the spot and wincing.

Kara raises her hands. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”

“Just… stop, ok? Stop talking. Stop pretending to be nice, pretending you still care.”

“I _do_ still…”

“Stop pretending like we’ll ever be friends again, ok? Stop pretending like everything hasn’t fundamentally changed. I know I fucked up, ok? But you did too. Don’t try to deny it.”

“I _know_ , Lena,” Kara cuts in loudly, trying to sit up a little more, despite the pain. “Ok? I know. I know I should have trusted you sooner, about everything.”

“Yes, you should have. You should have believed in me, you should have given me the same benefit of the doubt you give everyone else. After everything we’ve been through, didn’t I deserve that?”

“Yes, Lena, I’m sorry…”

“But as soon as I start doing one thing you don’t like, one thing you don’t agree with you have to turn on me, treat me like I’m nothing more than my last name, like the rest of the world.”

Kara pushes herself up further, ignoring the pulse that beats in her leg. She speaks loudly, over Lena. “You know that’s not what happened. You know you willingly were working with Lex, and you know how that looked from an outsiders perspective. You didn’t let me in either.”

“I wanted you to know how it felt.”

“And yet you still blame me!”

“You called me a villain, Kara!”

“No, I said you were acting like one!”

“You were supposed to believe in me! You, of all people, were supposed to be the one person that believed in me, that never gave up on me, but it was a lie the whole fucking time!” Lena looks like she’s about to start crying. Her lip trembles and she whirls away.

“I did believe in you, I _do_ believe in you. That’s why I was so upset with you, because I knew you could be better, but you ran back to your abusive shit of a brother and gave up on _me_!”

“It was a test, Kara, and you failed!” Lena turns back, stepping closer to the bed again.

“Do you believe that, or are you just saying it to shut me up? Because from where I’m sitting, it looks like you were just waiting for me to screw up so you could change direction and blame it on me.” Kara’s trying not to get angry, but it’s really hard, even as Lena advances, fury in her eyes.

“I trusted you, and you lied to me the whole. damn. time.”

“I said I was sorry. I know I screwed up. What else do I have to do? I’m not going to grovel anymore, Lena. I care about you. You’re my best friend. I will always believe in you. I will always know in my heart that you can be good if you want to. But _you_ have to want to for yourself. Not for me, not for Lex, not for your mother. For _you_.”

The air feels heavy. Lena stares down at her from her position right beside the bed, eyes shining and lips pressed into a thin line. Kara doesn’t know what else to say. She expects Lena to retaliate, but she says nothing, practically hovering above Kara in anger, the moment charged.

And then Lena’s kissing her.

She surges forward and grabs Kara’s collar, crashing their lips together roughly. It’s frantic and desperate and hard, yet somehow soft at the same time. Kara’s chest explodes. Her hand clenches next to where Lena is now half-kneeling above her on the bed, and her heart pounds in her ears. Her brain short-circuits and all she can feel is Lena: Lena’s mouth against her, wet and hot and hungry, Lena’s fists in her shirt holding her close, Lena’s knee, pressed against her good thigh. All the pain in her body is gone, replaced by _Lena, Lena, Lena._

She hadn’t realized until this moment how much she’d _craved_ this. Lena is intoxicating, pressing Kara back into the pillows and kissing the living daylights out of her. Kara never wants it to end.

Just as suddenly as she started the kiss, Lena pulls away, eyes wide, and Kara can’t help but chase her lips with her own. The cabin door bangs open, and Kara thinks for a moment that’s what caused Lena to pull away. But Lena doesn’t turn toward the door where, Kara notes distractedly, Alex is stepping through, gun raised. Lena just keeps staring at her. Kara frowns.

“Are you floating?” Lena whispers, and it sounds a little hoarse, a little raw. Kara looks down and realizes that yes, she floating a tiny bit, and no, her leg doesn’t hurt anymore, and _awesome, her powers are back._

“What the hell is going on?” Alex asks, and both of them turn to her so quickly they should probably have whiplash. Lena full-body winces and kind of falls back onto the bed because, oh right—concussion. Kara reaches for Lena and drops to the bed at the same time. Neither of them are looking at Alex which seems to confirm whatever theory she has.

“Do you know how many people I have out looking for you while you’re up here living out whatever,” she waves her hand, “fantasy this is instead?”

Kara balks, finally turning to her sister. “What? Alex, no, that’s not…”

“We brought in a fucking helicopter, expecting the worst, but here you are, uninjured and…”

“I was, Alex!” Kara pulls back the blanket, revealing her cut up pants and the bandages and blood still on her leg, though the gash is completely gone. “And Lena still is, she has a concussion.”

Alex looks between them—Lena bright red and frowning, Kara confused and earnest—and lets out a long-suffering sigh. “Fine. We should get you to the doctor then, Lena.”

“I’ll take you,” Kara offers, moving to the edge of the bed to stand.

Lena shakes her head, not looking at her. “Can I get a lift in the helicopter, Agent Danvers?”

“Kara’s faster,” Alex says at the same time Kara says: “You hate flying.”

Lena doesn’t look at Kara. “I’d prefer the helicopter.”

Alex gives her a long look. “Ok. Sure.”

Nodding, Lena walks to the door and exits the cabin without another glance at either of them. Kara stares after her.

Alex whirls on her sister the second she’s out of earshot. “What the literal _hell_ , Kara?”

Kara swallows hard, unable to tear her eyes away from the door. “I honestly have no idea.”

Her tone must convey something Kara’s not ready to admit because Alex softens. “Ok. Well, it seems like she’d be more comfortable without you in there, so I guess I’ll see you at home? You’re ok flying?” She glances at Karas ruined pant leg and the unnecessary bandage and smirks.

“Uh-huh.”

“Right.” Alex clears her throat. “Well, have fun.”

She leaves, letting Kara stare after her too.

When Kara finally pulls herself from her trance, the helicopter is taking off. She not-so-subtly flies near it the whole way, making sure Lena makes it to her doctor. Alex wants a de-brief, so she’s forced to go to the DEO after that and spend a few hours detailing the excursion to the best of her ability. (She leaves out the details about waking up entwined and skirts around the kiss, blushing furiously as Alex rolls her eyes.)

When she’s finally done, it’s late, and the city is quiet. Alex tells her to take the night off, but she still flies above the city, looking for something to do, something to take her mind off that kiss. The first thing she finds is what appears to be a scuffle in an alleyway near the alien bar and turns out to be two guys making out.

That’s not really helping, so she heads inside for a drink.

Inside, there are couples everywhere: alien/human couples, alien/alien couples, and even a few human/human couples. She’s beginning to feel like she’s the butt of some big joke.

The alcohol burns going down and she grimaces. She remembers the first time she got drunk here, and even though she’s not planning on getting drunk now, it brings up a few other memories. And memories of feelings. Feelings that seem dull compared to what’s swirling inside her now.

A couple comes up to the bar, all giggly and touchy and giddy. Throwing back the rest of her drink, Kara stands and makes her way outside, frustrated that she can’t figure out why she’s feeling this way.

It’s raining again, a light mist that her suit siphons off easily enough, and she finds herself flying around the city lazily, knowing she should go home and rest, but with another destination on her mind. She doesn’t want to bother Lena, but she wants to make sure she’s really ok.She needs to know some things too—namely to understand the answer to Alex’s question: _what the hell was all that?_

So, despite her better judgement, she flies by Lena’s apartment, relieved that she’s still up, and lands on the balcony with confidence she doesn’t fully feel.

To her surprise, Lena lets her in without question.

“How are you feeling?” Kara asks, noting the oversized sweater and leggings and the mug of tea. Lena looks cozy and Kara feels a little bad for interrupting her evening.

“Ok. It’s just a minor concussion, nothing serious.”

Kara nods, jerking her head like a puppet on a string. “Good.”

They stand in silence for a few long moments.

“Did you come here for something else?” Lena asks, and it could have been flirtatious if said differently, but it’s not. It’s harsh and clipped and dismissive, and it stings a little.

Kara ducks her head and toes at the floor with her boot, wondering how to broach the subject. “Um. I guess…how uh, how serious do head injuries have to be for you to…to do something you wouldn’t normally?”

“Did I kiss you under false pretenses, you mean?” Lena asks, cutting straight to the point, her voice a little strained.

Kara blushes. “Did you?”

Lena’s silent until Kara finally looks up and meets her eye. “No.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It was either that or punch you,” Lena says.

Kara blinks, her words coming out on the harsh side of a laugh. “Sorry, what?”

Lena glares at her, looking more like she’s trying to be angry than she actually is. “You were injured, so I refrained from punching. You’re welcome.”

“That…doesn’t answer the question,” Kara tells her.

Lena just continues to glare, a muscle jumping in her jaw. Her eyes are watery, for some reason, and Kara feels a swell in her chest, like the swell that illuminated her entire body when Lena’s lips touched hers. She realizes with startling clarity what it is, what this feeling is, and doesn’t even try to stop the words from falling out.

“I think I’m in love with you,” Kara blurts.

Lena stops glaring, her mouth falling open in shock. She blinks a few times, a tiny furrow reappearing between her brows as confusion sets in.

“I…you… _what_?” She finally manages, her voice little more than a gasp.

Kara’s laugh comes out breathy. She plants her hands on her hips and turns her head up to look at the ceiling. “I mean, I didn’t realize until… I never even _thought_ about it, thought about you like that until you kissed me, but maybe that’s why I was so scared. Of losing you, I mean.”

Lena doesn’t say anything, standing stock still.

Kara looks down at the floor. “Scared of hurting you, of telling you the truth after lying for so long. And that kiss was… well, I’ve never had such a good first kiss.”

She swallows, finally looking back at Lena, who hasn’t moved since Kara’s started talking.

“You literally jolted my system so much I got my powers back. And yeah, maybe part of that could be attributed to the shock of it or whatever, but it’s more than that. I love you. I’m _in_ love with you and…”

Lena’s lips crash against hers for the second time that day. Her hands grab uselessly at Kara’s skin-tight suit, eventually finding the cape and pulling it tight so Kara is flush against her. Kara goes willingly, her hands sliding to Lena’s sides, gently anchoring her there as Lena kisses her, and she kisses Lena back.

When Lena pulls away, slowly this time, she’s breathing heavily. Her pupils are blown wide and her lips are swollen and she loosens her grip on Kara’s cape just enough to take a half step backwards. She glances away. She’s shaking.

“We should probably talk about this.”

Kara resists the urge to just kiss her again. “Yeah, probably.”

Lena closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “I’m in love with you too,” she admits, her voice small.

Kara can’t help the smile that tugs at the corners of her lips. “Yeah?”

Tears fall from Lena’s eyes. She looks terrified, broken and confused and alone. Like this is the worst thing that could happen to her. Like this is her one and only saving grace, and she resents it. She clings to Kara’s cape and takes a shuddering breath, opening her eyes to finally look at Kara again, her lips trembling.

“I think I always have been.”

Kara lifts a hand to wipe away some of Lena’s tears. She waits for Lena to continue, giving her a small smile of encouragement, stroking her thumb across her cheek.

“When I found out you lied to me, I didn’t know why it hurt so much.” She pauses, inhales sharply. “When you told me, I was going to expose you. I mean, that was the plan before you told me, and then you went and did the honorable thing and came clean and I couldn’t go through with it. I didn’t know why. So I pretended to forgive you without letting you in. And slowly, I turned into the very part of you that I resented so much. And I hated that you lied, but I just wanted you back, and I didn’t know why, so I pushed you away, hoping I could stop myself from caring about you, still, despite everything.”

“Lena,” Kara whispers, close to tears herself.

But Lena smiles. There is still pain there, but there is also hope.

“But I love you. And I couldn’t stop caring. I don’t think I ever will.”

Kara could do loop the loops off the top of Lena’s apartment building right now. “Yeah,” she says—eloquently, unable the help the smile that tugs at her lips.

Lena chuckles a little herself. “I’m still a little mad at you. And we have a lot to talk about, probably.”

“Probably,” Kara agrees.

“But maybe we can do that a little later?”

Kara nods. She’s grinning so hard her cheeks should hurt. “Whatever you want.”

“Good,” Lena says, and kisses her for the third time that day.

They still have a lot to work through, but for now this is enough. Kara kisses the woman she loves, her best friend, her Lena, and knows in her heart that eventually they’ll be all right.

**Author's Note:**

> When I started this fic, it was just supposed to be them talking some things through while stranded in a cabin in the woods. I kind of thought I'd have them talk more, and I totally did not plan for Lena to surprise!kiss Kara and have it be the cause of her getting her powers back, but I'm not totally mad about it. Hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
